How many of us really listen to what is being said to us?
Listening is not the same as hearing and often we can tune out what is being said to us, either because it triggers an assumption or a prejudice, causing us to miss the real point of what is being said.
Being able to really listen, however, is crucial to both personal success and also that for a business particularly, but not only, for those in a customer services role, where it is crucial to really listen and respond appropriately to a customer’s concerns rather than parroting from a pre-prepared script.
How often are we frustrated by the tele salesperson who launches into their script without even pausing for breath.
Indeed, failure to really listen can have a serious impact on the reputation of a business with its clients or customers.
But the ability to listen well is equally important for a boss or manager wanting to communicate a change or an innovation, or to HR when dealing with issues with an employee. Both situations will invite feedback and this is where it is important that the person giving it is actively listened to.
Language can be a very imprecise tool. Every word is loaded with background information which to the listener can mean something quite different to how someone else would interpret the same sentence or word.
Arguably hearing is a passive activity whereas when you really listen to what is being said you are actively engaged in paying attention, considering and seeking to understand what is being communicated, both verbally and non-verbally.
It is possible to improve listening skills by doing some very simple things.
The first is to leave the ego at the door and demonstrate an open and welcoming approach, perhaps by using eye contact if possible and show that you are concentrating on what you are being told.
The second is to remind yourself to keep an open mind and allow other people to finish what they are saying rather than jumping in with a comment before they have finished. Not doing so will convey that you are making an assumption, perhaps based on something in their choice of words that triggers a reaction in you, that may be well wide of the mark and in so doing you are missing something that could be beneficial.
It helps to give feedback, especially if the conversation is on the phone, to ensure that you are clear about what they are saying. It can also help to make notes of key points so that you remember what was said, especially for your feedback and any future action.
Listening is an art that we are increasingly losing in a cacophonous age of social media and sound bites, where the emphasis seems to be on having one’s say and competing rather than really engaging with each other.